Finding Safety

How do you feel safe within your body? How do you accept your true self? How do you let go of the fear of change? These are some of the things I am currently dealing with. This morning I woke up with horrible anxiety & feeling unsafe within my body. I feel unsafe because of the internal conflict that I have going on within myself. My trauma brain & myself are going round & round. I, Kaylen, have grown mentally stronger & healthier over the past few years, because of this I am able to see the life that I want is within my reach. I also am able to see perfectly the last barriers between myself & this life. This barrier is honestly ridiculous because it sounds like such a small thing when spoken out loud but it still is causing quite the battle within me. How am I supposed to let go of the belief that because I don’t change physically, because I try to keep the same structure within my day that I will remain “safe”? I, Kaylen, know this is an irrational trauma response thought but it still feels so real within my bones. It still can trigger the flashbacks of what life was like before & how life is good now. My trauma has made the false correlation between life being good & my physicality/everyday structure not changing or remaining “good”. But now I am questioning good to who? Why do I feel I need to please these trauma thoughts? Why do I feel I need to remained caged by this irrational barrier when it is causing me so much internal conflict? Stress? I currently do not have the answers to these questions but I am currently searching for the permission I need to finally let go. I don’t know if anyone can relate to this but I do know many of us struggle with internal conflicts that usually stem from some false belief we picked up somewhere in life. I may not have the answers to my struggle yet but I do know that the only way to reach the life I want is to keeping moving forward. Without forward progress we are choosing to remain in our struggles. Yes, I know that sounds harsh but I have lived the proof of that statement. For years I stayed within a mindset that made me believe this was all life could offer me, but then I changed. I know I have overcome struggles before so I know I can & will do it again. For anyone who is also currently struggling remind yourself of what you have overcome, remind yourself of your internal strength. Today is the day to tap into that indestructible mindset & move forward.

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